I remember first hearing about the 5 languages of love while I was living in Jackson Hole. At the time I was very interested in knowing about it, but then got distracted and never checked it out.
Jump ahead about 4 years and I have been married to Coach for almost two years. We are struggling and decided to seek some help. We went to an awesome counselor with LDS Family Services.
One of the things Coach and I were dealing with was that neither one of us was feeling loved, of course we didn't know that was the problem. Our counselor helped us find ways to show each other love and helped me realize that I was not validating Coach.
Now it has been a little over 3 years since we saw the counselor and the marriage is better, not perfect by any means, but it is better than it first was. With Coach being gone though things have gotten tough and we were again counseled to read a book together. The 5 Love Languages ( The Secret to Love That Lasts) by Gary Chapman.
I just finished the book and it gave me more insight into our marriage and what our counselor was telling us 3 years ago. This book just taught it in a way that was clearer for me to understand, it is really idiot proof thank goodness.
I have found out that I am bilingual, in the fact that I have 2 love languages that are both just as important for me to receive in order to feel loved. They are Quality Time and Acts of Service.
(I actually had a hard time figuring out my own love language, I don't know why, but for me it was hard.) I see now why I am having such a tough time, the 2 languages that I need to feel loved require the husband present, and mine is not. Coach new his love language right away, and I should have known because it was discussed in our previous counseling session. His is Words of Affirmation, and he can receive that and feel loved million of miles away.
The book really was just awesome!! It talked of how when we first meet someone we feel those "in-love" feelings which are kind of an obsession, but they wear off. In fact, statistically they only last for a maximum of two years. After those two years love becomes a choice, a decision that we have to make everyday. I truly do believe that Love is a Choice! Filling our spouse's Love Tank takes work and effort.
I totally recommend this book to every married couple, it has been completely eye opening!! Many of you probably already have great marriages so if you do great, who knows this book might make it even better. But if you are like me and struggle a bit, I believe this will totally help.
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
DAY 105
4 years ago
I have another friend that always gives this book as a wedding present. I haven't read it, but it sounds like I'll have to check it out.
ReplyDeleteI agree, it is awesome. I haven't read the book and would love to but I have been to talks that have taughted about it. It is definetly a good think to know.
ReplyDeleteI've read it and it does give you great insight. I had a hard time too figuring out what mine was. I need to re-read it because I don't honestly remember what Casey and I figured out together. It never hurts to try to make things better regardless of your status. :0)
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