Four Years...of work

Coach and I have been married for four years today.  I wish I could say it was all bliss, but the first 2 years were some major hard work.  I read people's posts on facebook and what not, especially when they are first married and how much they seem to love each other and how it seems blissful and I totally get jealous. Unfortuntly for Coach and I it was a lot of learning.

I realize that when two people come together they both bring their own baggage, in my case I brought more baggage than I believe most people and it was tons heavier!!  I think I had more of the learning to do and more overcoming to do than Coach.  I was already in counseling :-).  I thought that when I got married everything would be better that I would be just perfectly happy...I was in for a little surprise.
We fought through the first year and during our second year I decided to go back to counseling and take Coach with me.  I am a firm believer in some counseling, but it has to be the right kind.
Into our third year of marriage there was a great turning point. I started to validate Coach more like our counselor suggested and and stop thinking because I was older than Coach, that meant I was wiser than he.  I also stopped holding onto my past mistakes (which were many and damaging to the soul) and let myself accept Coach's love.  The other big thing I learned was not to snap at him or let myself be so easily frustrated, I learned to talk to him when I'm frustrated, not yell.  I learned to laugh at the fact that he takes his socks off when he is sitting on the coach and then pushes them under the coffee table with his feet, not really thinking what he is doing.  I still mention it with some disgust in my voice, but with some humor as well.
The biggest thing that I learned, which takes in all of it really, was how to communicate with Coach.  Everyone does it differently,  but it is essential that it is done where you both are getting through to each other!
I'm not sure all that Coach has learned, but I know that he has learned that I have some "scars" and he is more understanding of them and that alone has helped us a great deal.

It has been Four Years and I believe that I'm on my way to super blissful!!  Already I have had those moments where it feels like Heaven on Earth, and those were even before Big T came.  I am super grateful that Coach and I were able to work out our problems and really have a good marriage (as good as we could get) before a third edition arrived in our family.  Our marriage continues to grow stronger as we get wiser as many of your marriages are.

So, I may have not gotten that blissful beginning I wanted, but I do now have the strong marriage I wanted. It just took a lot of hard work and sweat to get it, which will continue!