5 Years!!!

Coach and I have been married for 5 years!!!  On the 3rd was our anniversary and we celebrated by first going to the Billings Temple.  That was amazing!!  I haven't been able to go with my husband for 9 months, and it just reinforced how important our temple covenants are, and how we are not meant to be alone!  My marriage is most important to me!! 
( A lot of exclamation marks because I am very passionate :-) )

 Later that night Coach took me to Walkers in downtown Billings.  I loved it!!  It was more upscale, so I got to dress up a little more, and the food was AMAZING!  Pricey, but amazing.  I had Alaskan Halibut with prongs covered in a white wine cream sauce, yyuuuuummmmmm! Plus an amazing Cesar salad.
Coach had a Lamb dish, which I think was tastier than my Halibut. 
One thing I love about more upscale restaurants is that your water glass is never empty!!  There it was never even halfway empty :-)  Love that!!

Kinda Scary, right???!!!

We spent Saturday in Billings as well with Coach's Grandparents.  Big T's favorite was going to see and feed the ducks.  He loves animals, in fact the way to keep him happy when driving is to point out all the cows and horses and sheep we see along the road.  The boy now can sometimes find them and notice them faster than I can!

I am so grateful for Coach's grandparents.  They are so amazing!!  Big T warmed up super quick to them, so you know it has to be true!!

I totally thought I looked stylin' I had a red necklace on that I made with my turquoise shirt, I just needed on my red high heels and it would have totally finished the outfit :-)

5 Love Languages

I remember first hearing about the 5 languages of love while I was living in Jackson Hole.  At the time I was very interested in knowing about it, but then got distracted and never checked it out.

Jump ahead about 4 years and I have been married to Coach for almost two years.  We are struggling and decided to seek some help.  We went to an awesome counselor with LDS Family Services.
One of the things Coach and I were dealing with was that neither one of us was feeling loved, of course we didn't know that was the problem.  Our counselor helped us find ways to show each other love and helped me realize that I was not validating Coach. 

Now it has been a little over 3 years since we saw the counselor and the marriage is better, not perfect by any means, but it is better than it first was.  With Coach being gone though things have gotten tough and we were again counseled to read a book together.  The 5 Love Languages ( The Secret to Love That Lasts) by Gary Chapman. 

I just finished the book and it gave me more insight into our marriage and what our counselor was telling us 3 years ago.  This book just taught it in a way that was clearer for me to understand, it is really idiot proof thank goodness. 
I have found out that I am bilingual, in the fact that I have 2 love languages that are both just as important for me to receive in order to feel loved.  They are Quality Time and Acts of Service.
(I actually had a hard time figuring out my own love language, I don't know why, but for me it was hard.)  I see now why I am having such a tough time, the 2 languages that I need to feel loved require the husband present, and mine is not.  Coach new his love language right away, and I should have known because it was discussed in our previous counseling session.  His is Words of Affirmation, and he can receive that and feel loved million of miles away.

The book really was just awesome!!  It talked of how when we first meet someone we feel those "in-love" feelings which are kind of an obsession, but they wear off.  In fact, statistically they only last for a maximum of two years. After those two years love becomes a choice, a decision that we have to make everyday.  I truly do believe that Love is a Choice!  Filling our spouse's Love Tank takes work and effort.

I totally recommend this book to every married couple, it has been completely eye opening!!  Many of you probably already have great marriages so if you do great, who knows this book might make it even better.  But if you are like me and struggle a bit,  I believe this will totally help.
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman

A Moment

We are back home for awhile and I know Big T is missing his Grandparents, the animals, and the snowmobile!! 
I can't believe how much he has grown since we've been home last.  He is getting into drawers that he couldn't reach last time and reaching other places I wasn't prepared for him to reach.  AHHH!!

Just thinking of how much he is changing makes my eyes fill up with tears and my heart ache!!!  Not only because he is growing soo fast, but mostly because his dad, Coach, truly is missing out on so much!!  I know that he is doing a job, a job that alot of people won't or can't do, and somebody has to do it.  A job that is constantly criticized more and more, and a job where he is paid less than minimal wage.  He has truly sacrificed so much for a job that has to be done, no matter what others may think, it has to be done. 
I miss him more than words can express.  He is my best friend, and a lot of times it feels like he is my only friend.  It has been tough with out him here.  He hasn't been there to hold me and tell me I'm a good person and I'm raising our son fine. (which I worry that I'm not doing a good enough job being both parents or even just the mom.)  He hasn't been there to just hang out with me when I need an adult to talk to. He speaks Cami and I swear he is one of the few people I'm not awkward around, and even if I am he gets it.  Coach is not here to pick me up and telling me to keep going and telling me I can do it, and that I matter.  And he is there on Sunday's which truly seem to be the hardest day for me. I think it is because I feel the most alone when I'm surrounded by people, and yet am alone.  I'm in the dreary world with out my help meet.
I knew that it was going to be hard with out him here, I just didn't realize how hard emotionally it would be. How could I have?  How can you prepare for it?
Coach is not being able to chase Big T around and show him the world that is before him.  He isn't able to teach him new words or get to watch Big T try to calculate how to climb up this chair before him. Big T is constantly learning how things work and how to put things together.  It is such an incredible time, and Coach only gets to see him maybe once a week for 5-10 minutes and just his face, not him experiencing life. 

I know that this is but a moment in the grand scheme of things, but it is one of the toughest moments I've experienced thus far. 

Where did June Go?

This month has gone by so fast, I can't believe it!!!
  We went to my parents house on the 12th for a week to have fun and relax before my sister's wedding, but of course it rained.  In between rain bursts we did manage to get some dirt bike riding in and I exploded a watermelon with my dad's shotgun.  What a thrill!!  The dogs enjoyed running around afterwards and finding all the pieces. 

My little sister took her endowments out on Friday the 17th at the Idaho Falls Temple, that same time Coach was getting  his Lasik eye surgery.  Yay!!  He was sorta blind for the rest of the day. My family went to a buffet to eat dinner and poor Coach couldn't tell what the food was.  He said he just kept getting nachos because he could tell what they were.  The next day he was tons better.  It has been over a week now and he can see awesome!  His eyes are still a little bright light sensitive and at night he has sees small halos where lights are, but the doc said that both issues will go away soon.

On the 18th of June my little sister was married.  It was stressful for me because I was her bridesmaid and her photographer.  It was so hard because I didn't have a flash and it was so super sunny out so tons of shadows in faces. :-(  It was supposed to be cloudy that day.  I feel that the photos turned out horribly, and I'm so disappointed with them.  I wish that I would have bought the flash like I've been meaning too, and I should have scouted out the area better.  Instead I was rushing around with other priorities ( Coach's eye check up. ) I definitely should have had a better game plan.  I have one more wedding to shoot in September for my other sister and I'm also in it.  It is so stressful to be two parts I've come to know.

My Baby Sister and her Husband

The Family (minus 2)

The Girls!

I know I look like crap, but everyone else looked great in this photo.  Actually there isn't a photo where I look good in.

 My Family :-)

And of course Big T.  He is so stinkin' cute!!!

On the way home from my parents house we saw this Family of Mosen!! ( If you haven't heard of Brian Regan..you gotta check him out. Hilarious comedian.)

Four Years...of work

Coach and I have been married for four years today.  I wish I could say it was all bliss, but the first 2 years were some major hard work.  I read people's posts on facebook and what not, especially when they are first married and how much they seem to love each other and how it seems blissful and I totally get jealous. Unfortuntly for Coach and I it was a lot of learning.

I realize that when two people come together they both bring their own baggage, in my case I brought more baggage than I believe most people and it was tons heavier!!  I think I had more of the learning to do and more overcoming to do than Coach.  I was already in counseling :-).  I thought that when I got married everything would be better that I would be just perfectly happy...I was in for a little surprise.
We fought through the first year and during our second year I decided to go back to counseling and take Coach with me.  I am a firm believer in some counseling, but it has to be the right kind.
Into our third year of marriage there was a great turning point. I started to validate Coach more like our counselor suggested and and stop thinking because I was older than Coach, that meant I was wiser than he.  I also stopped holding onto my past mistakes (which were many and damaging to the soul) and let myself accept Coach's love.  The other big thing I learned was not to snap at him or let myself be so easily frustrated, I learned to talk to him when I'm frustrated, not yell.  I learned to laugh at the fact that he takes his socks off when he is sitting on the coach and then pushes them under the coffee table with his feet, not really thinking what he is doing.  I still mention it with some disgust in my voice, but with some humor as well.
The biggest thing that I learned, which takes in all of it really, was how to communicate with Coach.  Everyone does it differently,  but it is essential that it is done where you both are getting through to each other!
I'm not sure all that Coach has learned, but I know that he has learned that I have some "scars" and he is more understanding of them and that alone has helped us a great deal.

It has been Four Years and I believe that I'm on my way to super blissful!!  Already I have had those moments where it feels like Heaven on Earth, and those were even before Big T came.  I am super grateful that Coach and I were able to work out our problems and really have a good marriage (as good as we could get) before a third edition arrived in our family.  Our marriage continues to grow stronger as we get wiser as many of your marriages are.

So, I may have not gotten that blissful beginning I wanted, but I do now have the strong marriage I wanted. It just took a lot of hard work and sweat to get it, which will continue!

Photo #4

Coach Miller started playing the guitar in high school to get girls. I'm not sure how many girls he got in high school, but he got me on it! I have to admit I was attracted to the guitar.  However, I thought that a person that knew how to play an instrument would also have enough rhythm to dance. I was apparently wrong. Coach Miller doesn't know how to dance...at all!!
Anywho, Coach Miller played the guitar a lot when we were dating and first married, he even taught me a little bit. In fact he first taught a lot people how to play and they have now exceeded his talent. That is one of his many "coaching" qualities. Coach Miller has not really played for about 2 years so I decided to pick up one of his 4 guitars, one of the acoustics, and play.  I learned Where Have All The Flowers Gone, but poorly. There is a duet part in it and Coach Miller plans to learn it so we can play the song together... eventually!
 I really just wanted to get him back into playing, but I don't mind learning either.  I realize that with school, work, being a father, and a husband he doesn't really have much time left over. He is very talented and hardworking so this photo goes out to him and how amazing of a guy he is!!!